Our farmhouse – 2018. It took us YEARS to reach this big dream

If you’ve been following on Instagram for awhile, or know us in “real life,” you probably know some of our backstory – why we wanted to build, how long it took (spoiler alert: it took a long time), and the challenges we faced to get to our dream house. But I think most of you have gotten to know us more recently and probably have no idea.

My husband, Josh, is an architect and it’s always been his dream to design and build a house of our own. Josh has definitely been the dreamer in our marriage, while I often took on the role of Worst Case Scenario Imaginer/Big Dream Buzzkill. You know, the one who asked the no fun questions like: How would we afford to do that? But where would we live while we build? Do you have any idea how expensive land is around here? That kind of thing. So jumping on board this dream was a little scary for me, but we both loved houses and the thought of designing one from scratch together was enticing.

Accomplishing a goal he’d worked toward since high school – becoming a licensed architect!

About 5-6 years ago we started casually looking at properties. Josh was always keeping an eye out for a deal on land for sale, even though we really thought it would be way in the future. At the time he wasn’t an architect yet – he was studying all the time and going through the testing process to get his license – and I was a stay at home mom to our two kids. Money was pretty tight. That all changed when we found a piece of land for a great price in an amazing location that seemed really perfect for us. One detail I didn’t mention before is that we lived next door to my dad. He lived alone, and when Josh and I were newly married the house next door went up for sale – and we bought it! We liked being neighbors (um hello free babysitting! And if you’re reading this we like your company too, Dad…)  and when we started talking about buying property and building – we all decided it would be ideal if we could somehow buy adjacent properties or a parcel big enough to split up so we could still be neighbors. Well this land that we found just so happened to be two 5-acre parcels side-by-side!

Dreaming dreams and making plans at our original property

We did our due diligence, we hired an expert to make sure it would be buildable, and we got a great deal on the land. Everything seemed to be falling into place perfectly, and after praying about it and feeling total peace about the whole thing – we went for it! And Dad bought the lot next door. We didn’t have a lot of resources to put into the land or house at that time, so we decided just to take our time and do work on the land ourselves to get it ready to build. We spent many hours, evenings, and weekends there clearing brush and trees and putting in a driveway. My thoughtful husband even built a little playhouse out there so the kids would have somewhere to play while we spent many hours working on the land. We designed our house plan and knew where our backyard would go and where we’d put the kids’ playground and our garden. We were finally ready to start building, so we submitted our site plan to the county – which, based on the info we’d been given from our wetland’s biologist, we thought was an easy approval. Then one day, an e-mail popped into our inbox. I couldn’t tell you the exact wording, it’s all kind of a blur at this point, but the overall message was loud and clear: STOP ALL WORK IMMEDIATELY. I really felt like I’d been punched in the stomach. Unbeknownst to us, the wetlands regulations had changed since we purchased the property less than a year previously, and we were left with no buildable land anywhere on our 5 acre parcel. Dad’s 5 acres next door was in the same boat. We were completely shocked, so we did the only thing we could think to do: start looking for a loophole. We had a second opinion of the wetlands done, which unfortunately didn’t come back in our favor. Our last and only option was to apply for something called a Reasonable Use Exemption, which basically is a way for property owners to use land that would otherwise be unbuildable. This was a pretty lengthy process. We even had to have a hearing examiner meeting, which was at the courthouse and felt a little like an interrogation – super intimidating! After all of that, they finally agreed on a site plan for us. Unfortunately the site plan was VERY different from what we’d envisioned. We would have to choose a different house plan with a smaller footprint, have a pretty small yard , and our house would be up against a pretty busy street. We’d envisioned a long driveway with our house tucked away from the road behind the trees. We’d dreamed of a big yard with lots of quiet and privacy. Pretty much the opposite of what we would be able to build there now.

My dad, tiny Noah, Josh, cute little Sadie, and Kristin (very pregnant with Ellie) when we first cleared a driveway at our original property. Before our “plot twist” moment

It wasn’t an easy decision for us, but we decided to sell the land and start over. We were so sad to say goodbye to the place we really thought we would build our forever home.

So much time spent there with all the kids in tow! It was so hard to give up the dream and start over.

Fortunately we were able to sell it. All of the work we’d put in, and the permits we’d obtained worked in our favor and we even made a good profit. We cautiously started the property search again. This time we were a little nervous and very picky. We looked at a lot of properties and none were quite right. One day Josh said he’d found a really promising piece of land that already had a well and a gravel driveway (two things that can be very costly to put in). But there was a catch – of course! This land was in a very small town about 30 minutes from where we wanted to be. I said no way! While I did want the peacefulness and privacy of owning a few acres in a more rural environment, I still wanted to be close to the conveniences of our booming suburban area. Our kids are in sports, our church is there, our homeschool co-op is there, etc. etc. All things we’re passionate about remaining involved in! But I agreed to look. Just look.

One of the many pieces of land we considered

You guys, it was so gorgeous. The drive there was beautiful – through lots of trees and then opening up to farm land with horses and cows grazing in wide open fields. When we got to the land I knew I was in trouble. It was beautiful and peaceful and I wanted to live there so badly! I knew I would drive further for this beautiful place to live. And maybe the best part, the land was 36 acres – way more than enough for us – so we are in the process of subdividing it three ways. Not only do we get to have my dad as our neighbor, but my brother and his wife and their two sons are going to build next to us too! So even though we moved to a new town where we don’t really know anyone, we know we’ll always have fantastic neighbors. Our kids can’t wait for their cousins to live next door! Having family nearby is really important to us.

You know what I think about all the time these days? I don’t think we would have been ready for this land if we’d found it before our first property. We couldn’t have afforded it. (Kind of important.) I also wasn’t ready to consider moving to a small town, and my brother and sister-in-law wouldn’t have been ready to build yet. We definitely wouldn’t have been able to afford to build the house that we ended up building. God’s timing is so perfect. Every bump in the road, every obstacle that felt like a mountain keeping us from our dreams – they were only detours pointing us to a bigger and better dream that only God knew about. It makes me wonder what other dreams He has for us, that we haven’t even thought about yet. Trusting Him in this season of our life wasn’t easy, and to be honest sometimes I wondered if He just forgot about us. Brought us only so far, dropped us off, and left us to figure it out. Maybe you feel like that today. Maybe you’re in a waiting season, or a painful season, or an everything-that-could-wrong-is-going-wrong season, and you’re wondering where in the world God went. Did He drop the ball? Are you in this thing alone? No. I think He wants me to tell you today – He’s got you right where He wants you. He’s already in the middle of using ALL of this hard stuff to point you to something better. Don’t let the struggle make you bitter – lean in to the one who holds you in His hand until you get to your own “ohhh THAT’S what He was up to!” moment. I know it’s coming.

Our little piece of heaven on earth

If you made it this far, thanks for sticking with me! Thank you for reading my first blog post. I hope you’ll come back for more. I plan on sharing more about our home and our family – everything from home tours and DIY’s to homeschooling and travel tips. Your support means the world to us!

– Kristin